Gracious Words

Over the last several weeks as we have begun our new school year and are getting our feet wet, so to speak, I have also taken some time for deep reflection. At this time of year I often ask myself the following questions:


What do I want to accomplish this year?

What are our main goals?

What extra things would we like to do... ie. field trips, family outings, activites and projects?

How do I plan to accomplish all of this?


I spent a good portion of our summer lesson planning. First looking at the big picture, breaking things down into quarters, and then weeks. I LOVE lesson planning, pouring over GREAT books, dreaming of how wonderful the coming year will be! As I established and set our educational goals, getting excited over beginning Tapestry of Grace  this year... I am quickly reminded of a life verse for our family and our homeschool.

"Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates."  Deuteronomy 6:4-9

As I read these verses over and over, they truly struck a deep chord with me. Reflecting that these words have deep meaning and commandments. If these verses are to resound in our home, there are some cobwebs that must be brushed away, hearts that need to be repented, cleansed and renewed. These verses are not for the faint at heart, the weak or the frail. These are commandments we are given! My child is a precious gift from God. The Lord has blessed me with the privlege of being his mother, yet my son belongs to Him. It is my duty and honor to teach him the ways of the Lord.

"Train up a child in the way he should go,
and when he is old he will not turn from it."  Proverbs 22:6
 
This verse also remined me of my responsibility in teaching and training our son. Parenting is not for the weary. However, how many of us as parents can truly, honestly say we never grow weary?! I do not know of any! So I began to really pray fervently for our school year. That we would lead our son in the way he should go. That our words, thoughts and deeds would reflect what is right and pleasing to the Lord. Truly desiring that our lives would honor God, obeying His commands. Yet once again, I kept getting stuck on words, thoughts and deeds. Praying over this daily. The Holy Spirit quickly guided me to the following verse.
 
"He who loves a pure heart and whose speech is gracious will have the king for his friend." 
Proverbs 22:11

Being convicted by the Holy Spirit, I knew immediately why I was stuck on 'words, thoughts and deeds.' For often my words are not gracious. Or gentle. Or meek. They are hard and rough around the edges. They can be harsh, spewed without thought during moments of frustration. So I went to the Lord repenting and asking of His forgiveness. For His word and His truth teach me that He is slow to anger and abounding in love. Soft words turn away wrath. My speech should reflect His love and forgiveness. How can I possibly train up my child in the way he should go without imaging God in my teaching and training. The Lord wraps us in His arms. He cares for his sheep and tends his flock. He guides and disciples us, with love.


This passage famously defines love, and specifically states that rudeness and mean-spirited words have nothing to do with love. If our speech is characterized by such things, we should ask ourselves if we are truly acting in love.

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs."  1 Corinthians 13:4-5

The Bible puts great emphasis on the power of words to build up or destroy others. This verse exhorts Christians to be both graceful and wise in their conversation at all times.

"Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone."  Colossians 4:6

The words we speak have tremendous power over others--power to bring them down or to lift them up. The Bible clearly encourages us to use our words to comfort and build up others, not to tear them down.
 
"An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up."  Proverbs 12:25
 
The words that come out of our mouths should bring glory to God and encourage others. We should watch our speech carefully to make sure that it helps and edifies those who hear it, and doesn't discourage them. In this list of the characteristics of a holy person, take note of how many of them are related to speech. A godly person avoid slander, keeps his word, and speaks only what is true.

LORD, who may dwell in your sanctuary?
    Who may live on your holy hill?


He whose walk is blameless
    and who does what is righteous,
    who speaks the truth from his heart


and has no slander on his tongue,
    who does his neighbor no wrong
    and casts no slur on his fellowman,


who despises a vile man
    but honors those who fear the LORD,
    who keeps his oath
    even when it hurts,


who lends his money without usury
    and does not accept a bribe against the innocent.
    He who does these things
    will never be shaken.   Psalm 15:1-5
 
It's no surprise that the Bible condemns lying, profane language, and other sins of speech. But it also clearly condemns gossip as a destructive sin in the same category. We're not only to refrain from gossip ourselves, but to steer clear of anyone who makes it a habit.

"A gossip betrays a confidence;
so avoid a man who talks too much."  Proverbs 20:19
 
Therefore it is my prayer that my words would reflect His image and love. May my speech be gracious, abounding in love and mercy, full of grace and forgiveness. May I truly teach our son in the way he should go, the ways of Our Heavenly Father. Amen.